Groucho Marx 30 Top Insightful Audio Mp3 Quotes

“ I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. ” – Groucho Marx

“ My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed. ” – Groucho Marx

“ Humor is reason gone mad.” – Groucho Marx

“ Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Groucho Marx

“ Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx

“ I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

“ When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.” – Groucho Marx

“ I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx

“ Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.” – Groucho Marx

“ Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it.” – Groucho Marx

“ Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well I have others.” – Groucho Marx

“ One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.” – Groucho Marx

“ Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, and I’m going to be happy in it.” – Groucho Marx

“ Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.” – Groucho Marx

“ There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he’s crooked.” – Groucho Marx

“ Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.” – Groucho Marx

“ Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women.” – Groucho Marx

“ Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.” – Groucho Marx

“ Marriage is a wonderful institution…but who wants to live in an institution.” – Groucho Marx

“ I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.” – Groucho Marx

“ If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.” – Groucho Marx

“ Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.” – Groucho Marx

“ All people are born alike… except Republicans and Democrats.” – Groucho Marx

“ A man is only as old as the woman he feels.” – Groucho Marx

“ If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.” – Groucho Marx

“ Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.” – Groucho Marx

“ The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” – Groucho Marx

“ Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.” – Groucho Marx

“ A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” – Groucho Marx

“ Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.” – Groucho Marx