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Category: Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx 30 Top Insightful Audio Mp3 Quotes

Inspiring Sayings Audio Mp3 and Ideas better than Pictures or Photos by Groucho Marx.

β€œ I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. ” – Groucho Marx

β€œ My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed. ” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Humor is reason gone mad.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well I have others.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, and I’m going to be happy in it.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he’s crooked.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Marriage is a wonderful institution…but who wants to live in an institution.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ All people are born alike… except Republicans and Democrats.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ A man is only as old as the woman he feels.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” – Groucho Marx

β€œ Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.” – Groucho Marx

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